dragging bodies

 After watching a scene in a horror movie, where a young woman effortlessly drags a grown man's lifeless body across the floor, I sat in silent awe and asked myself, "can I do that?"

The next thing I knew, Carl and I were dragging each other's bodies across the living room linoleum, testing our ability to dispose of each other's corpses.  With a great deal of heaving and huffing, I managed to pull his body a few feet. 

    "Ouch, my  head!" one of us cried out.

    "Hush now, bodies don't cry out about their heads!" the other replied.

    "See, you could totally drag my body to the bathtub to chop up." I said after being easily dragged to the door, completely impressed by his body-dragging skills.  

    "If only we had a knife that was actually sharp!" I say with a snort, and roll my eyes at the thought of our pathetically blunt knives, duller than Ralph Wiggum.