where there is a will to procrastinate, there is a way

I sometimes ban myself from lurking through reddit, thinking of all the time I'll save by not doomscrolling. "I won't be able to procrastinate, I'll have to do work." I think optimistically.

 But where there is a will to procrastinate, there is a way; I'm a very creative person when it comes to avoiding my mile-long to-do list, and can find new and inventive ways to do anything except the thing or things I have to do. 

 Prep for work to be done? Oh gosh, I just remembered, the oven needs to be cleaned, and probably with a toothbrush as to get it done as thoroughly (and slowly) as possible. 

Is there laundry to be folded? Yes, the answer is always yes, there is always laundry to be folded, and the pile of clean clothes towers high above my will to acknowledge it. Instead, I'll sit next to it and flip through a vegan cookbook (though I'm not vegan) and imagine all of the recipes I'll try (though I won't).

Tax documents to collect? No thanks, for now I think I'd rather fantasize about doing an accidental Vulcan mind meld with a deranged fictional character, who, it turns out, just has an internal dialogue of screams and screeches.

At this very moment, I'm writing a blog post about procrastinating in a blog I've ignored for months, as a means to feel productive while escaping the burden of my half-completed to-do's. An excellent meta waste of my time.